9 weeks

Today I had my first visit to the obstetric haematology clinic. I was expecting this though it took longer than I expected to get referred. (I mentioned it at every appointment, but I think I only got properly referred at the midwife booking appointment last Friday).

I left feeling overwhelmed. I think it's partly the way in which you have to be proactive and organised as a pregnant woman. I have notes to carry around to every appointment, a form to take to a blood test, lots of appointments to make. It's good. I like the feeling of autonomy, and taking responsibility for my own care. But it also makes me feel a bit alone. I'd like a little hand holding some of the time!

The registrar this morning was friendly, but maybe a little too efficient. She was almost escorting me out to reception before I could ask my questions. (About flying. We're due to fly to Cyprus at the end of June, when I'll be 32 weeks). I know hospitals are busy, but I felt a little like a cog in the machine. Especially as I half hoped I would see one of the people I saw before at the thrombophilia clinic.

There's a lot of doing stuff myself, but also a lot of running on rails. I won't have a choice in where I give birth - too high risk. I will have consultant-led care, rather than being looked after by the local midwife team, but I'm not exactly sure what that means. I hope things become a little clearer after the first scan (at 13 weeks and 1 day) and my 16 week midwife appointment, when lots of test results get drawn together and I assume we make decisions about how my care goes from there.