by the seaside

Any bloggers going to Together on a Mission/Mobilise next week? I know Adrian's hoping to, shingles permitting and I expect Dave is and other Jubilee bloggers. Anyone else out there?

hmm

Now here's an interesting idea: Genpets.

Take a look at the website and then have a look here.

(via yummyyarn)

spotty horse

spotty horse, originally uploaded by the pig wot flies.

I've only got a few weeks left of my current cycle route to work and I'm trying to make the most of it and enjoy it.

This horse is in a field near the big roundabout I have to cycle round. I can only really see into this field on the way home, so seeing the spotty horse is cheering because it means I'm about halfway home.

There's lots of wildlife and livestock on my cycle route. Horses in fields, birds flying overhead and yesterday I saw a small baby rabbit scrabbling into the undergrowth on the grass verge. There's also lots of traffic, major roads and roadworks which mean the lanes change about once a week and you're never quite sure where you're supposed to be. My new route to work will have more grass, less traffic and more historic buildings, but it's unlikely to have horses.

not moaning

I keep planning blog posts in my head while cycling home and then forgetting them completely. I think it's a head-clearing on the way home thing. Combing the thoughts of the day out your head and leaving them along the road side. Which is very un-environmentally friendly. Clearly I need the mental equivalent of a compost bin. Or something.

Never mind.

Concert tonight. Still coldy. I can sing, but everything resonates oddly and I can't hear very well. I'll just sing on regardless and hope there aren't too many wrong notes.

Thoughts:
Challenge - write a blog post without using the letter i.
Why are they so many dead squirrels around?

Going home now.

Have a good weekend.

cough cough

The exam went OK. I had things to write, I remembered things I'd revised.

The cold that has been threatening for days has turned into proper sneezy, coughy headachey but not quite ill enough to stay in bed.

sniffle

you are now leaving funkytown

I have no reason to feel sorry for myself. It's just an exam, people do those every day with no ill effects and there are far worse things happening in the world.

Go away big black clouds. You're not really that big and I can do without the extra blanket cover.

It's raining. This is good because it's no longer boiling hot. I was hoping for thunder, but I'll settle for drizzle.

radio PWF

Is currently playing I am a rock and trying to remember that No Man is an Island. Which is even better in context.

grrr/random collected thoughts

I missed marking my 200th post. This is post number 203.

My neck and throat hurt. This is silly. I keep on being sort of low-level not quite healthy. I'm hoping it's just a combination of hot weather, tiredness and having an exam tomorrow and I'll feel better soon.

Sorry, this blog seems to veer between moaning and hooray-ing with not much interesting content in between. Is anyone still reading who isn't related to me?

The most exciting part of my weekend was seeing the underside of my car when I went to pick it up from the garage. It was like being underneath a whale skeleton.

It's getting too hot to knit wool. Perhaps I'll have to knit cooler fibres like silk, cotton and linen.

Over the last week I have burned, labelled and packaged a large stack of DVDs and CD that I made for work. This is very satisfying. I still have another, slightly smaller stack to make.

Debs is a far better blogger than me. She tends to have things to say.

I'm trying to work out what it is I don't like about football-based masculinity. That peculiar sort of English, beery, lary, loud, blokiness that completely sets my teeth on edge. I can't work out if it's snobbery or fear or just sheer opposite-to-me-ness. If I ever turn my thoughts into coherent sentences, they'll appear here.

In the meantime I shall be hiding somewhere with books and knitting and paracetamol.

peace and quiet

I'm at home in London, enjoying the peace and quiet and, in theory, doing some revision. The bug got through its MOT after rather a lot of welding. My bike had a puncture on thursday, but is now fixed and has a new saddle and no broken spokes.

Apparently there's some sort of contest today. Anyone know what all the flags are about? :-)

I'm planning a quiet afternoon reading poetry in the garden.

highbrow sillyness

It may amuse you to know that Geoffrey Chaucer hath a blog.

new home

I think I can tentatively say, it's sorted.

This is how it happened. The sermon yesterday was on Matthew 6 v 24-35. "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?" (v25) Afterwards, there was prayer for people who were worrying about things and needed to trust God. So I went up for prayer and rattled off a list of things I was worried about, including having nowhere to live in a month. One of the women praying for me said "I'm looking for a housemate". She's someone I know vaguely, having met once or twice before. So they prayed for me and I felt better and then we talked about the house. After lunch, I went and looked at it. So many things are just right. It's in the area I wanted to live in, down the road from more friends from church, the rent's right, there's a gas cooker (little thing really, but I do like cooking on gas), there's a garage I could keep my car in (luxury as far as the bug's concerned!), plenty of book shelves, the timing for when the current occupants are moving out is right. God's good!

It's not completely finalised yet, I've got to speak to someone at the letting agents to start the official paperwork side, but looking at the way it's all just come together, just at the right time, just right, I think it's going to be OK.

space

Exe estuary, originally uploaded by the pig wot flies.

I've been to Exeter for the weekend to stay with HP. It was lovely. I think I walked more and up more hills in a weekend in Exeter than I do in a month in Cambridge.

Yesterday we went for a walk with Nathan and Hannah along the canal towards the estuary. It was windy, but we stayed dry, apart from the sea spray on the ferry across the estuary to Topsham, where this pic was taken. The thing you can't see is just how cold it was, the wind was blowing and we huddled together in the boat to keep warm. The sun shone too, and once on shore again, we soon warmed up.

Now I'm back at work again, but feeling the benefit of being thoroughly de-cobwebbed. Thanks HP!

sort of here, sort of not

I'm back in the office today, having spent yesterday at home. Not too sure how long I'll last before I head home again. Still quite achey and headachey and not here.

I don't think I'm very friendly when I'm ill. I get all sorry for myself and grumpy. Will save blogging until I'm in a better mood.

lurgy

Just about to head home to curl up in bed. Not feeling too good. Which might explain last night's emotionalness. Woozy.

emotional

Last night I went to the cinema and saw The Squid and the Whale. It's a good film, well made, but possibly the most gut-wrenchingly upsetting film I've seen in a while. It's the story of a couple splitting up and the effect it has on their two sons, Walt and Frank. No-one comes out of it well, neither parent is the hero, both boys are more or less screwed up by the experience. I almost walked out a few times, but ended up staying to the end, just in case it got better. It didn't really, although the title does get explained and the end scene is almost beautiful, if also sad and ambiguous. But I never want to see it again and I'm not sure I'd recommend it to anyone, especially not anyone who's easily upset. I'm not usually, but something about this film got to me.

I cycled home in the rain afterwards on the edge of tears. This is the flipside of my habit of going to the cinema alone. Yes, you get to chose exactly the film you want to see and where you want to sit and whether you stay until the end of the credits or not, but there's no-one to discuss it with, or to pick you up and give you a hug afterwards.

I went home, had a shower, chatted to my housemate a bit and then want to bed, still feeling drained. Not much better now, although more rested. Going to buy petrol this morning and leaving my wallet at home didn't help. (Sorted now, I went back and paid once I'd collected my wallet from home).

I'm meeting knitters tonight, perhaps that will cheer me up.

if only pianos had an off switch

Today I have live piano accompaniment. In the office.

Actually it's rather good. Usually we get someone trying to play 'When the Saints go marching in' very badly. Today it sounds more like a concert pianist rehearsing.

Not doing my sleepy head much good. I shall try to stop moaning and appreciate it, because it's actually good. They're playing straight through and not stopping to go over mistakes, until just now, I think it's got to a tricky bit.

Wish I knew what the music is. It's something famous and I ought to know it. I've got a sneaking suspicion it's the Tchiakovsky I was hating on Monday. hmm.

I don't think I like Tchiakovsky

At least not when I'm working. Too lush, too swoopy, too many little flickery lights going on and off.

I want Bach.

meurgh

UPDATE: Found some Bach. Better.

head-scratching

I am looking at websites of US universities and there are lots of things I don't get about US academia.

The word 'faculty' used as a collective noun, in a similar way to 'staff', but always 'faculty' never 'the faculty'.

Professors whose title is Dr.

Everyone has a middle initial and uses it.

A sort of lack of departments. Maybe they just call them something else.

My head hurts. I'm listening to a horrible classic fm type radio station viw i-Tunes on the office mac. The music's OK, but it's all chopped up into little bits, like someone's taken a selection of classical and baroque CDs and put them all into one big shuffle. Which is probably what it is. With a teeth-setting-on-edge computerised voice in between tracks telling you what each one is.

Urgh.

What I really want to listen to is Radio 3, but I can't make Safari find the plug-in to make realplayer work. So I'm stuck with this.

I think I'm stressed because I know I've got to write an essay tonight, but first I've got to do some work and what I need to do is fairly uninspiring and mindless and involves negotiating US university websites which are unfamiliar and therefore irritating.

Better stop and get back to it then.

this little piggy

...is sleepy.

...is not so little, now I come to think about it.

...is going home soon.

...worked late last night, so is taking time off this afternoon.

...has to write an essay by Tuesday.

...wants new sandals.

...needs a new place to live.

...will be back on Monday.

...wishes she had interesting things to say.

good thinking

I've been reading Anna Broadway's Sexless in the City blog for a while now. I like her honesty and humour. Today she has some good advice for any single woman who's ever complained about the wimpiness of Christian men.

where have I been?

Right here, just not posting. There's an abandoned post about the bank holiday weekend and that's it. Too busy or too boring to have much to say, sorry.

I've had a couple of good weekends though. Bank holiday weekend, a friend from Oxford, Chris, has in Cambridge, so we did lots of touristy things, went up the tower of St Mary's, found St John's (he's doing a DPhil at St John's in Oxford) and went to Evensong at King's, which was beautiful. Sunday night I sang in a concert in the village to celebrate the opening of the new recreation ground. That was a surreal experience. We were on between Ten Sing (local teenagers doing pop songs and drama) and the local village college (more local teenagers doing pop songs and some cringe-making comedy). So obviously we were singing opera choruses which fitted in nicely. Bank holiday Monday, I went to Ely cathedral. Ely's gorgeous and there was a choir rehearsing Rutter's Mass for Children for an evening concert, filling the space with sound.

This weekend: On Saturday I went to HipKnits in Sawbridgeworth (see knitting blog). The car refused to start when it was time to come home. It's been doing that a lot of late. Usually I just wait until it decides to start again but this time I called the AA, which turned out to be a good thing as the patrolman found and tightened a loose connection to the battery. So now Turq should behave himself. Yesterday was a very good day. I went to lunch at Ruth and Liz's house and stayed there all afternoon. Ruth and I went to St Barnabas for the evening service and ran into a couple of people I knew from Oxford. It's so long since I spent Sunday afternoon chatting with friends. Lovely!

Operation find Bekki-a-new-place-to-live needs to start in earnest. I'm feeling so isolated where I am at the moment. Not that I don't get on with my landlords, it's just that sharing a house with the owner is very different from sharing with other people who are also renting. It would be great to be nearer the centre of town, ideally lots of other people my age. It's a bit scary, but it needs to be done.

It's back!

And it only took me 6 weeks to notice.

Go and play!

this week I have been mostly watching Henry V

That's what it feels like anyway. On Monday night I watched Olivier's 1944 version and last night it was the turn of Branagh's 1989 version. Sunday (23rd April, St George's day and Shakespeare's birthday) would have been a highly appropriate day for watching lots of Shakespeare, but I was otherwise engaged, driving back from Exeter. It's been fun and it counts as work since I've got an essay to write.

Olivier's Henry V is deliberately theatrical. The first few scenes take place on an Elizabethan stage, complete with groundlings, basic scenery and rain. Later scenes expand to take in fleets of model ships sailing to France and landscapes filled with tiny castles and houses. The whole thing has an air of unreality and staginess, which fits with the form of the play. Any piece of action too difficult to stage is narrated by Chorus, reminding the watching audience that they must "Piece out our imperfections with your thoughts" (Act 1, Prologue).

Branagh's version is equally clear about its unreality. Chorus, played by Derek Jacobi, starts on a film set. The first half of the film is almost entirely interior shots, only moving outside with the first battle at Harfleur. The look is cinematically dramatic rather than stagey. At the battle of Agincourt though, the blood and mud and rain look all too real. It's clear that Henry's men are exhausted and outnumbered by the fresher French and their victory is hard won.

There's a difference in tone between the two films. Olivier's version, especially in the theatre scenes, is played for laughs. Branagh's, from the very beginning is more serious and more tense. Olivier's battle scenes are in full daylight with vibrant colours and flashing swords. Branagh's battle scenes are a bloody, muddy mess. Henry begins the battle of Agincourt looking suprising clean, but by the end of it, he's as mired in grime and gore as any of his men.

Both films pack an emotional punch. Olivier's film, made in 1944, was partly a deliberate exercise in morale raising during the war. Henry's rousing speeches are as much for the audience's benefit as for the characters'. It reminds me a little of A Matter of Life and Death and other Powell and Pressburger films of that era. There's a seriousness to it, but it's all a little unreal and disconnected from real blood and suffering. Branagh's version on other hand, almost moved me to tears. At the St Crispin's day speech, I was totally carried along with him. At the end of the battle, the battle worn king and his men carry the bodies to be buried in a gritty and moving scene that would be out of place in Olivier's film.

I could go on and on. I'm glad I watched these films in quick succession. Both are brilliant, in their different ways and true enough to the text to make them useful for someone studying the play. Go and watch some Shakespeare!

the picture not taken

Photos I would have taken in the last week if I'd got to my camera quicker, or not been driving at the time.

A grass snake wiggling through the grass at Ivychurch
A dinosaur by the M5
A field full of identical white Shetland ponies
The sun setting over the A406 on Tuesday
A pheasant running up the steps in HP's halls of residence
A swallow (possibly) flying over our heads
Red fields amongst the green of the Devon countryside

I've had a nice little break. Not long enough to do everything I planned and now I'm back at work I wish I was till at home. Perhaps these remembered moments will help.

road trip

We're off to take HP back to Exeter, via my Grandparents' house in Cheltenham. It should be fun if the three of us (Debs, HP and me) don't squabble too much. I'm coming back to London briefly on Sunday night, then back to Cambridge all ready to go back to work Monday morning.

It feels like this week's gone far too quickly. It's been a good little break from work though, even if I haven't done all the things I wanted to do this week.

re-reading

Open Book this afternoon (love not being at work and being able to listen to Radio 4 ALL DAY!) was all about re-reading. So I started thinking about the books I read and re-read. Some books I re-read because I wasn't paying attention the first time. I have been known to finish a book and then start it again immediately. This is partly because of the way I read. If I've got to read a book to study it, I usually have to read it twice. On the first time through I'm reading for plot, structure, the big picture. Then the second time through, I notice the details, the individual sentences and words.

But that's not really the sort of re-reading the programme was about. What are the books that you re-read again and again? For me, there are several. The Bible, obviously, although that's a different sort of reading. But for escapism, Pride and Prejudice is pretty high on my list. Nancy Mitford's The Pursuit of Love and Love in a Cold Climate come to mind as comfort reading, the familiar books I go to when life is a little scary (I last read them in January this year just after moving to Cambridge.) It's about familiarity and (mostly) happy endings. A Room with a View fits into that category too. I suppose all four are partly about romantic dreams and wish fulfillment. Anthony Powell's A Dance to the Music of Time is a re-read for different reasons. I've read it twice so far and I can see myself returning to it at different points in my life. I think I've blogged about it before as a sort of measure of life, of where one is in relation to the progression of the various characters.

I've just looked around my bookshelves and I can't see many books I've loved reading that I haven't subsequently re-read. I'm currently re-reading The Once and Future King by T H White, in a paperback edition I used to carry around in my blazer pocket at school, as I later carried around The Name of the Rose. Both books I read and re-read countless times, because I loved them.

I think that's my verdict. If a book's really worth reading, it's worth reading again. There have been books I've finished and never wanted to read again, indeed books I wish I'd never read. But many books, oh so many books, that I come back to again and again and again.

What are yours?

Debbie in the woo park

Debbie in the woo park, originally uploaded by the pig wot flies.

Debs has been putting up pictures of me swinging around in a park in Melton Mowbray, so here's a picture of her in the same park just after Christmas last year.

let's go to Dungeness

That's what the song said, so HP and I did. I've wanted to go there for ages. It's a strange place, a very flat and simple landscape, mostly just shingle and sea. And two big power stations. We walked along the shore looking at the sea and found egg cases, dead fish, seaweed and things that had drifted in on the tide. All the houses are small and squat. There aren't many fences, boundaries and garden merge into each other and the beach. You can visit the power stations. We declined and went to the bird sanctuary instead. There were oyster catchers, coots, swans, swallows and ducks, cows and sheep and lambs. On the way home, we stopped at Ivychurch to eat ice cream and looked at the church. In the long grass of the churchyard, we disturbed a grass snake. It wiggled off before I could catch it on film.

It was a fun day, as much good for talking on the journey as for the things we saw.

Edited to add: We found stones with holes in too. HP wondered if there were any. As she said it, I saw one at her feet.

oh look Monday again

But this time it's a bank holiday and I'm taking the rest of the week off. I'll try to blog a little more. What happened last week? I was tired and busy and just didn't have the energy to blog. Plus I'm still feeling a bit uninspired.

If you want to know what I've been up to over the Easter weekend, go and look at Deb's blog. She has pictures and everything.

Did anyone see the Manchester Passion on Friday? Possibly the most interesting bit of the BBC's Easter programming. It was a bit like a modern Jesus Christ Superstar with songs by Manchester bands. Some of it worked ('Love will tear us apart' at the Last supper, Judas lamenting what he'd done with 'Heaven knows I'm miserable now', Jesus appearing right at the end at the top of the clock tower singing 'I am the resurrection and the life'.) Some didn't, quite, like Pilate and Jesus singing 'Wonderwall' as a sort of duet/duel. Sounded a bit silly. And 'Angels' should just be banned under all circumstances, even with the words changed to "He offers me protection". There were interviews with people in the crowds carrying a giant cross interspersed with the action which were kind of what you'd expect, a cross section of people from different backgrounds and religions saying why they were there. A couple of good, clear as you can be in a snatched 30 second interview quotes from Christians though. The whole thing was probably not to everyone's taste, but it was certainly innovative.

is it Monday?

I'm a bit sleepy.

The weekend went really well. The speakers were good, most things went smoothly and I got loads of positive feedback from people on the course. I'm going through the more formal feedback survey now and so far it's all postive.

I got back about 6 Sunday evening and had very little brain power, so wallowed in a bath for a while and then sat in front of the telly with some mindless knitting and watched The Princess Bride (ooh, and managed to catch Belle and Sebastian on TOTP. That still seems a very odd thing to happen. They've been on twice in the last few months. This time they were all dressed in denim and sounded vaguely like T-Rex, but also unmistakely themselves.) and then a repeat of The Christmas invasion episode of Doctor Who on BBC Three. (Yay! New Doctor Who on Saturday! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! I'm a bit overexcited at the prospect. No other TV programme ever in the history of the world is as exciting or as eagerly anticipated.)

Debs has been documenting her weekend in pictures. It looks like a very typical family weekend chez ma famille.

I'm aware this blog is becoming little more than a record of stuff that has happened to me. Hardly riveting stuff. I'm frustrated by my own decision not to blog about work stuff. There's so much cool stuff happening, but I can't blog about it because that would inevitably reveal my workplace and I don't really want to do that. I've been so busy with workstuff lately that there hasn't been time for anything else exciting to happen. I'm taking a some time off next week, so perhaps I'll manage to have some interesting thoughts. Or at least go to new places and take pictures to show you. Would you like that?

bizy backson

It's super busy at work. I've got my first weekend conference starting tomorrow. I'm not as stressed as I thought I might be, but I'd still like to squeeze in another day between Thursday and Friday. Ah well.

See you Monday.

I am not ill

It's just that someone has submerged me in treacle and replaced my brain with cotton wool. I can't be ill, there's too much to do this week.

Mergh.

I had a fab weekend. Went to a friend's house Saturday night, met her housemates and some other people came round and was all good. Sunday, went to church, gave someone a lift home, sat in the sun in her garden for a bit. That was a first for 2006. Sun! Sitting outside and not freezing! Cooked myself lunch, aubergine and tomato sauce. Don't quite knw what I did to ruin it, but the aubergine wasn't very nice. Went to the same friend's house to watch the boat race (Oxford won! Cambridge looked like they might sink!), went for a walk, came back and ate fondue with assorted housemates.

It's the first time in ages I've actually had a social life at the weekend. Hurrah!

why I love the Messiah

I've been singing Handel's Messiah for months (since mid-January to be precise) but without really paying much attention to what I was singing. At the first rehearsal with the soloists it hit me just how amazing it is. It's the choice of texts, the way Handel sets scriptures from the Old Testament (Isaiah 53v3-6, Psalm 2), and makes it so clear that they're about Jesus. Part 2 starts with 'Behold the Lamb of God' and continues with the suffering of Christ, and ends in victory with the Hallelujah chorus (the bit everyone knows, and deservedly so.) Part 3 looks forward to the second coming, beginning with 'I know that my Redeemer liveth' and ends with 'Worthy is the Lamb', one of the songs of praise in Revelation.

Basically the words are amazing, the music's sublime and it's a generally fabulous piece to sing or listen to. Probably more fun to sing. And this isn't the fabulously eloquent post I wanted to write about it, but I said I was going to write one, so here it is.

arr, pirates!

Ooh, seeing this on Thinklings reminded me that church yesterday was taken over by pirates.

aka the leaders of the new 'Kidz Klub' (ack, can't stand deliberate bad spelling, but if said 'kidz' like it, so be it). Anyway, they took over the service and we played silly games and sang songs and Debs and I had fun doing all the actions and giggling all the way through. The idea was to give the church a taster of what's going to be happening on Saturday mornings once a month in a new outreach to the area around City Church.

Arrr!

another newbie

Yet another Jubilee church blogger - David Anthony's blog. Dave's an intelligent guy (and a fellow Oxonian) so I'm sure he'll have plenty of interesting things to say.

almost cut my hair

Well, I didn't cut it myself, but I had it cut. Not that you can tell. It's just the same, but shorter. Debs wondered why I bothered. I tried to take a picture, but all I managed were pictures that showed a) the dirtiness of the bathroom mirror and b) the mingingness of the not-a-cold-sore thing on my lip, so I gave up.

After singing Handel on four out of the last six evenings, I still have bits of the Messiah buzzing around my head. This is mostly lovely, except when you're trying to go to sleep and get a fugue-like bit (most often And with His stripes, or worse, He trusted in God) stuck in your head and it goes round and round unrelentingly for hours.

Ah, yes, I was going to rave about how great the Messiah is, wasn't I? I'm a bit too tired and feeling the effects of the missing hour (oh, has anyone read Mason and Dixon , no? Oh well, I'll spare you the riff on what got lost in the missing hour, like the horse and dogs that didn't make it, or maybe did and went the long way round, I really can't remember. It's a very long and odd novel and that's one of the more coherent bits. There's some really odd stuff about giant plants and things that I just gave up on. Either I lost the plot about halfway through, or Pynchon did.) and as you can tell, not really in a fit state to write sensibly. But it is great, and the music is sublime, even the bass arias. Although I wish there was another really good bit like the Hallelujah chorus at the end.

I'll stop now.

Or not. There's a novel by Stevie Smith which I love, called Novel on Yellow Paper. I wanted to quote some lines from it, about going on and on, but don't worry, there's a 10,000 word limit (something like that), but Google won't give me the quote I want. So I'll give you this one instead. Perhaps an apt quotation for all bloggers.

"For this book is the talking voice that runs on, and the thoughts come, the way I said, and the people come too, and come and go, to illustrate the thoughts, to point the moral, to adorn the tale."

STOP

A14 sunset

A14 sunset 2, originally uploaded by the pig wot flies.

It's been a long week. Today I've been to Milton Keynes and back for a meeting. Tonight and tomorrow night I'm singing in the Messiah and I really want to write something about the amazingness of Handel, but I'm too tired. I'm going to go home and have a shower and get ready to sing, so I'll leave you with this beautiful sunset.

postcards home

New addition to my blogroll, I miss my cat, by Jo from my old London church. Go and read her amazing story of how she ended up in Thailand.

new Jasper Fforde in July

10th July to be precise. Details and cover design here.

tabula rasa

station wall, originally uploaded by the pig wot flies.

Monday morning rolls round again. A new week, a blank slate, to fill with plans and activity and business. Except, like this wall, it's never totally blank. There are routines, grooves to slip into, things that must be done. Some good, the structures that keep you safe and on time. Some bad, the bad habits you can't shake.

Looking at this picture reminds me of a metaphor for sin, the memory of which puts me back in the school playground. I think it was a powerful idea in my head when I was younger. Our conscience, our soul is a white sheet. Sin stains it black and grey and muddy. So matter how much we try, we can't wash it away. Jesus comes and takes away our stained sinful sheet and gives us his spotless white covering.

I'm not sure it stands up to detailed theological analysis, (What is the sheet like to begin with? It can't be spotless. What happens to the thrown away sheets?) but something abut the metaphor obviously gripped my primary school-aged mind. I think it's the idea of a new start, washing away the past and being given a new righteousness from God.

So what does that mean for my patterns, habits and grooves? Do they get renewed too?

Well, yes. But how? Still working on that one.

I thought this week would never end

But it's nearly the weekend.

Notable events of this week:

A giant Frankenstein's monster (Boris Karloff-esque) in front of the car show room I pass on my way home. Now replaced by an equally large and angry looking Octopus on the roof.

Looking out of the window to find my nextdoor neighbour's washing line was full of stuffed animals, pegged up to dry.

I videoed Tuesday's lunchtime seminar all by myself. I haven't watched it all yet, but so far it looks OK.

Snow on Tuesday. It didn't settle, but it looked quite impressively blizzardy for a bit.

Yesterday I wore a wrapover dress over trousers which caused my two office mates to comment, independently, that I looked smart. Does this mean I'm not usually smart or just that it was an outfit they hadn't seen before?

Make-it-up-as-you-go-along curries are sometimes odd, but sometimes delicious. This week's, which was actually a half-remembered Jamie Oliver recipe with chopped tomatoes and cream of coconut, but without half the crucial ingredients, was towards the delicious end of the spectrum.

I still need a haircut. Does anyone know any good hairdressers in Cambridge?

head full of fuzz

As demonstrated by the fact that I managed to post this on pigwotknits by mistake.

That's how I feel today. Not sure why. Too much caffeine? One too many anxiety dreams? I haven't exactly been sleeping well.

Not much else to report.
I wake up, I go to work, I go home, I eat, I knit, I sleep.

Except it's just been the weekend. Which was different.

Sorry, nothing sparkling to say today. I'm feeling a bit flat.

I did manage to find and stay on the A14 yesterday, so that's an achievement. The secret seems to be to remember not to be put off by the twists and turns and weird bifurcations and forget what the map looks like and the fact that usually when I'm on this section of road I'm going to Melton Mowbray and just follow the signs. Why this doesn't work in the dark, I have no idea.

Can I go home now?

I'm really a very good driver

I am. Ask Debbie. Ask Duton or anyone else who's been in my car. I'm a good driver and I have a pretty good sense of direction, in the city. So why on my way home from Sainsbury's last night did I end up in the wilds of the Cambridgeshire countryside, not entirely sure where I was? Why, when trying to find a new venue for my cell group a few weeks ago, did I find myself in a field, miles from civilization, surrounded by travellers?

In the country, it's a different story.

The Cambridgeshire countryside is very pretty. Flat fields stretching off into the distance, long straight stretches of road raised a few feet above the level of the surrounding ground, beautiful views with lines of trees marching off into the distance.

None of this is of any use whatsoever in the dark.

The other crucial point about Cambridgeshire roads is their casual approach to signposting. You're looking for a village, let's call it Groundwater. You come to a cross roads with a pretty fingerpost pointing you towards Groundwater, Ely and Cambridge. "Oh good," you think, and poddle along in the direction of Groundwater. You come to the next crossroads. There are directions to Ely, Cambridge, Watertree and Soggy Oak, but no directions to Groundwater. "Oh well," you think, and decide Groundwater must be in the opposite directions to Watertree and you'll go that way. Next crossroads, no directions whatsoever. "Oh dear," you think, "Perhaps I should turn round." You drive along the long, straight dark road with a 3 foot drop on either side desperately hoping for a side road or gate in which to turn round. Suddenly, with no warning, you see a turning to Groundwater and you have to brake abruptly and swing round the corner, sending everything on the back seat flying onto the floor of the car.

Then there's the A14. Me and the A14 have a difficult relationship. It looks like a very useful road, running roughly East-West across the North side of Cambridge. There aren't many East-West roads on that side of Cambridge, so it should be very useful for getting to places. Er, no. The A14 is elusive. Despite the fact that I can get on it a mile and a half from my door, I inevitably lose it again. Unless I'm trying to get on the M11. Otherwise I end up heading to Bedford or Ely or Newmarket when I wanted to go somewhere else entirely.

Perhaps it knows. Perhaps it's a conspiracy of country roads to send me and my bug hurtling back to the city where we belong. Perhaps the signposters of Cambridgeshire want me to be lost.

Perhaps I just need to look at the map more often.

I'm not dead

Just a bit busy.
Essay writing did beat knitting, so I didn't finish my Olympic cardigan.
Tuesday and Wednesday I was in London on a course on publicity and promotions which was very useful, if quite intense.

Today is a busy day at work since there's a big public lecture this evening, followed by a posh dinner and discussion. And I seem to need to be in about three places at once for most of the evening. I do get to eat yummy food though, so it's not all stressful.

hurrah for the weekend

This one contains knitting and an essay. And probably some other stuff. And the essay may trump the knitting.

Have a good weekend, whatever you do.

And just so there's something interesting for me to find on Monday morning, tell me your plans for the weekend. What exciting things does your life contain?

Gosh, I sound like a Radio 1 DJ. Sort of.

ta ta til then.

book meme

I'm a sucker for a book meme. This one came from Anne. As arbitrary as any other book list, but here you go.

Meme instructions: Look at the list of books below. Bold the ones you’ve read, italicize the ones you might read, cross out the ones you won’t, underline the ones on your book shelf, and place parentheses around the ones you’ve never even heard of.

The Da Vinci Code – Dan Brown
The Catcher in the Rye – J.D. Salinger
The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy – Douglas Adams
The Great Gatsby – F.Scott Fitzgerald
To Kill a Mockingbird – Harper Lee
The Time Traveller’s Wife – Audrey Niffenegger Currently re-reading this one. It's good.
His Dark Materials – Philip Pullman Not sure whether I want to read this or not. I saw the first half of the National Theatre production and it rather put me off.
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince – J. K. Rowling
Life of Pi – Yann Martel
Animal Farm: A Fairy Story – George Orwell
Catch-22 – Joseph Heller
The Hobbit – J. R. R. Tolkien
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time – Mark Haddon
Lord of the Flies – William Golding No, I still haven't read it.
Pride and Prejudice – Jane Austen
1984 – George Orwell
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban – J. K. Rowling (family copy)
One Hundred Years of Solitude – Gabriel Garcia Marquez I started it once.
Memoirs of a Geisha – Arthur Golden
(The Kite Runner – Khaled Hosseini)
The Lovely Bones – Alice Sebold
Slaughterhouse 5 – Kurt Vonnegut
Angels and Demons – Dan Brown
Fight Club – Chuck Palahniuk
Neuromancer – William Gibson
(Cryptonomicon – Neal Stephenson)
The Secret History – Donna Tartt
A Clockwork Orange – Anthony Burgesss
Wuthering Heights – Emily Bronte
Brave New World – Aldous Huxley
The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe – C. S. Lewis Well, technically it's a family copy.
Middlesex – Jeffrey Eugenides
Cloud Atlas – David Mitchell
The Lord of the Rings – J. R. R. Tolkien
Jane Eyre – Charlotte Bronte
Good Omens – Terry Pratchett, Neil Gaiman
Atonement – Ian McEwan
(The Shadow Of The Wind – Carlos Ruiz Zafon)
The Old Man and the Sea – Ernest Hemingway
The Handmaid’s Tale – Margaret Atwood
The Bell Jar – Sylvia Plath
Dune – Frank Herbert

I love radio co-op

It's so unexpectedly entertaining. I went into the Co-op on my way home last night to buy potatoes (it was cold and windy and I had a craving for sausage and mash with gravy). The tannoy system was playing Dreadlock Holiday by 10cc. Interesting, I thought. Then the song finished and I heard the unmistakable plinks of the beginning of Bjork's Venus as a Boy. A grin slowly crept across my face and I found myself staying in the shop and buying a few more things just to hear the whole song and find out what came next (something I couldn't identify). Perhaps that's why they do it. Anyway, whenever I go in a Co-op there's almost always something unexpectedly good playing on the instore radio. In the last few weeks I've heard

Bob Dylan - Like a Rollin' Stone
Amy Winehouse - Stronger than me
The Foundations - Build me up Buttercup
The Beatles - Drive my car
The Bangles - Walk like an Egyptian

And that's just the ones I can remember. It's the randomness of the selection that gets me. You never know what's coming next and they're (nearly) all quality tunes.

hungry hungry

My stomach is making the most extraordinary noises.

Thanks to all who are praying. I don't know any more than I've already said. The post mortem ruled out any suspicious circumstances, but wasn't conclusive about the cause of death. I don't know the funeral arrangements yet.

Church was good on Sunday. It was great to able to pray for each other and feel the support of the church community. And I went out for lunch with a bunch of girls, all about my own age and non-students. Finally I'm starting to find some people like me. Hooray!

prayer request

I heard last night that one of the guys in my cell group was found dead on Thursday morning. No idea why, there's going to be a post mortem today. I didn't know him all that well, but he seemed a lovely bloke. He was a very new Christian, full of enthusiasm, glowing with love for God and care for others. He leaves an ex-wife and a 7 year old daughter, who hadn't been told about his death yesterday, her mother is probably going to tell her today.

Please pray for his family, for the cell and for the church as a whole.

unhappy wednesday

I'm having another one of those "what am I doing here, I'm no good at this job, aarrgh!" sort of days.

Silly really.

I'm feeling disorganised and completely not on top of my work. Everything I have to do seems to be urgent and needs doing yesterday. And I'm forever putting things off until I feel confident enough to do them (i.e. anything that involves the phone.)

All this despite a successful event yesterday.

Last night I ended up knitting in front of the telly, watching Jackanory night on BBC4. Wonderfully comforting and nostalgic.

Today I met Debs and my mum in town for lunch, which was great, if too brief. They're both on half term this week. I wish I was. I'm feeling very time-poor. I'm supposed to be taking my favourite food and favourite pudding to a cell social on Thursday night. I made triple quantities of mole (that's chicken in a tomatoey chilli sauce with ground almonds and chocolate, not a small furry creature) last night and froze what I didn't eat, so that's sorted, but I haven't got the time to make brownies or chocolate cake or banana cake. I might have to buy some yummy ice-cream or something.

Choir tonight. Singing always cheers me up. Last week I was feeling tired and didn't want to go, but I went and by the end felt muchly cheered and destressed. So hopefully, it will have the same effect tonight.

happy tuesday

It is Tuesday. It is a Tuesday just like any other Tuesday. Actually not just like any other Tuesday because this one contained an event I organised which was well attended and very interesting but kept me awake last night and early this morning with every part of my body feeling tense and nervous. Tonight I plan to relax. I might have a bath. I will certainly knit. Maybe eat some chocolate. I'll have the house to myself since my housemate will be out with her fiance for some inexplicable reason, so it'll be lovely and quiet.

I hope you have a happy Tuesday too.

Shandian

I went to see A Cock and Bull Story the weekend before last, and liked it much more than I thought I would. Not that I expected to dislike it, but I did worry that Steve Coogan would be too annoying. He was a little in the early parts of the film and I still think he mostly plays multiple versions of the same character, but by the end his character seemed to have some depth.

It's not a straight adaptation of the book and it's not meant to be. It shares themes with Adaptation, in that both are about the process of making a film. There's enough humour for it not to seem clever-clever and overly knowing. The film acknowledges the feeling of frustration at missed-out elements of a favourite book by using character's complaints to include 'missing' scenes. (Thankfully it completely misses out the long travelogue sections I always get bogged down in.)

Rob Brydon steals every scene he's in. Keeley Hawes looks terribly grown up as Tristram's mother. Shirley Henderson is squeaky and interesting as usual. There are some great cameos, one of the best being Tony Wilson turning up to interview Steve Coogan. (Coogan played Wilson in 24 Hour Party People.)

I think this film manages to side step possible accusations of pretentiousness by being amusing, clever and touching. It also gets away with much of its unevenness and jumps between plot lines since Sterne does exactly the same thing. The digressions are the point of Tristram Shandy.

what am i up to?

I have been requested (read, ordered) to blog about what I've been doing, so I shall.
On Friday night, I joined some fellow Cambridge knitters in a pub to watch the Winter Olympics opening ceremonies and cast on for the Knitting Olympics.

On Saturday, I woke up earlyish (for a Saturday) and sat in bed knitting and listening to Home Truths. Then I went out and collected parcels from the Post Office and bought some fruit and veg from the Co-op. I came home and ate croissants and hot chocolate and then did some more knitting.

After a while, I decided I needed some fresh air, so I went for a wander. I walked through the cemetery, walked up the main road in the direction of Cottenham, wandered off through some twisty roads, found a bit of bridleway, walked along it, walked back, took some photos, found the village church, walked back through the old bit of the village, discovered a few shops I hasn't seen before (a shoe factory outlet, no use for large feet, unless you want trainers or maybe walking boots), found the local library (open on Saturday mornings, but not afternoons, so not that useful), sat and watched the ducks on the village green. Went home to find Z and D watching the rugby. Knitted some more. Cooked mole, knitted some more and watched TV. Went to bed.

Sunday, I went to church, went to a newcomers lunch in a really old and amazing house, went home and knitted, went to a students and 20s evening event at church, talked to some friendly people, ate doughnuts, went home, went to bed.

Debs, are you happy now? I don't often write diary entry type things like this cos I think they're quite boring to read unless you know the person.

I shall now find something more interesting (I hope) to write about.

run away and draw

Hours of fun: Sketch swap

via meish

phew

Someone else is videoing the event on Tuesday and the one two weeks after that, so I have about a month to aquire kit and get some practice in. That's such a relief.

I'll be very glad when this week's over.

pointless 1980s UK-centric trivia

Did you that Charles Collingwood (Brian in The Archers) voiced Wordy in Look and Read?

Given that to appreciate this you have to
a) be about the same age as me
b) be British
c) have watched Look and Read at school
and d) know enough about The Archers to know who Brian is,
this piece of trivia is probably only of interest to about one member of the audience of this blog, but never mind, it amused me.

meurgh

Why do apparently simple things take forever?

I've been trying all day to find a tripod to order for work. And I am still confused. There are tripods, there are tripod heads, there are little tiny tripods for still cameras, there are great big huge tripods, there are quick release tripods (equally useful for a wedding or a warzone apparently) there are triffids, there's an 80s BBC sci-fi drama, there are £20 tripods, there are £2000 tripods. I still don't know what I want. Well, I do, but I don't know where to buy it.

I want a tripod for a Sony DCR-VX2100. It needs to be tall enough to put the camera at about eye-height, it should have a quick release mechanism, a spirit level would be useful and it should pan and tilt smoothly. I'm not bothered about having controls on the handle. I'd like to spend around £200, but that's a bit flexible. Not £2000 flexible though. I've got to film an event on Tuesday and I'd like to have chance to play with the camera setup before that. Does anyone have any good ideas?

where are you from?

I've been playing with a fascinating surname profiler website, found via Anne. It gives you maps of the frequency of a surname in the UK in 1881 and 1998, using census data. My surname is mostly concentrated in Cornwall and the South West in 1881. In 1998, it's more widespread, but the highest density is still in Cornwall. It also gives you the Mosaic group with the highest index for your surname. Mine is 'Tourist Attendant', which makes sense for the South West.

Where does your name come from?

if you can't stand the wait, don't listen to the band

Yesterday I was feeling rubbish and Mondayish (yet again, got to do something about that) and since there are rather a lot of pink fluffy things around in February, it's not the most fun of times to be single. I found myself moaning to God about not having met anyone yet and trying to work out how best to trust God and what my attitude should be.

So I tried turning it around and thought about what I'd like my future husband* to be doing right now and this is what I came up with:

Waiting patiently and chastely for God to bring the woman he’s going to marry into his life.
Not chasing after every girl he meets, but hopefully and prayerfully keeping his eyes open.
Not putting his life on hold until he gets married, but getting on with whatever stuff God’s given him to do in the place in which he is now.
Trusting God for the future, whatever happens.

So, perhaps that's a good list for me to think about too.

*Clearly there are some implicit assumptions here, but we'll leave those for another day.

that friday feeling

End of the week, about to head home. It's a good feeling.

This weekend holds good stuff - a ceilidh, sunday lunch with my landlords, D and Z, knitting, reading, maybe the cinema, definitely sleep.

I've lost track of how many weeks I've been at this job. 4 I think. Today is a month since I started, so perhaps it's 5. It's going well. I'm busy, every day there's something new to work out how to to do, we're all still finding our feet a little, but we're making progress.

Off to cycle home.

scarf

Does this belong in knitting or flying? Anyway, Nathan found it. (Why doesn't that boy have a blog yet?)

Everything you ever wanted to know about the Doctor Who scarf.

tuesday over

The event went really well. Loads of people turned up, we had to turn a few away. The speaker was great, the food was OK and there was just about enough of it, although more wouldn't have hurt.

And I've just finished my essay. Going home now, I'm very hungry.

maybe it's just mondays I don't like

I would happily run back to bed right now, but I'm at work and there are things to do.

Quick post and then I'll be good.

I did go and see Narnia on Saturday (on my own, which I rather like) and I liked it a lot. Yes, there were lots of little changes from the book, but that's what happens when you make a film. Books and films are different animals. The scene leading up to Aslan's death got as near to making me cry as anything ever does. (Unlike my mother who cries at ANYTHING vaguely sad, I never cry at films. Books very occasionally.) There's one line "But let him first be shaved!" that always makes me squirm with horror and sadness at the humiliation of it.

Tilda Swinton's Jadis is a huge improvement on the pantomime villain of the BBC version (although I really don't understand why she wears such oddly shaped dresses. In one she looks positively deformed.) There's something very chilling about her offhand nastiness and the way she changes abruptly from soft-voiced flattery to anger.

I have an essay to write, which is at least half done. More than that if you're counting words, but it needs some pummelling into shape.

Tomorrow is the first work event for which I'm partly responsible. I think I've checked everything which can be checked. The one thing I can't check is how many people are going to turn up. I'll let you know how it goes.

escape to Narnia

narnia, originally uploaded by the pig wot flies.

I'm posting this photo because I'm fed up with Monday's slightly self-pitying post still being at the top when mostly I'm OK really. And as a reminder to myself that I STILL haven't been to see the Narnia film. I'm supposed to be going with Debbie at some point, but since she's gone home to be ill, that might not happen.

not a good day

Today has not been a good day and I can't really put my finger on a reason why. I have things to do, but I'm not really getting anywhere with them. My first actual event is in a week and a day. I don't seem to be doing anything towards making it happen. I probably should. I've sent out lots of posters, so presumably some people will see them and come. The room is booked, the food is probably booked. Perhaps I should look into this a bit more.

I think I'm missing a sense of purpose. I turn up at work not really have much sense of my goals for the day, the week, the next few weeks. This is partly because everything is so new. I need to do some planning.

This is turning into a really boring post isn't it. Sorry, just me working stuff out by writing it down. It sometimes helps.

Anything exciting happen this weekend? I went shopping, bought a suitcase, a grey jumper (I can't quite believe I managed to buy something that isn't pink red or purple. Still, it is for work.) some CDs (Franz Ferdinand, Nick Cave, Nick Drake, haven't listened to them yet). Saturday night was a Burns Night concert in Debbie's village, which was fun, very silly but well-sung.

Sunday was church, lunch at a work colleague's house and lots of knitting. I spent the coffee time after church talking to lots of students, which was lovely, but did make me feel old. (That's City Church btw. In the end I decided it felt like home and since I don't really want to go back to being an Anglican, there wasn't anywhere else I fancied going, so I'll stick with it) I don't yet seem to have met anyone of my age bracket yet, i.e. post-student, working, single. Early days. Church never seems long enough to get to know people. There's no general gathering of people to go off to lunch somewhere. I am not patient. I want everything to happen right now, but friendships take time and effort. Time to start inviting people over to lunch. It would be good to have a reason to cook properly. I don't often seem to have time, especially not in the week, and this weekend I got cooked for on Saturday and Sunday, so didn't really get chance to cook anything interesting.

Shall I bike home or get the bus? It was very cold on my way in, which is probably a good reason to bike. Cycling is cold, but standing at the bus stop is colder.

There you go, some of the contents of my brain at this moment. Is it too boring? Will anyone comment? Go on, say hello.

lost in the city

Apparently, a whale was seen swimming through London today. Poor thing, it must have been very lost.

the long clay noses

It's nearly the end of week three of my new job. This week has been a busy one, both in and outside work. I've done lots of things for the first time - met up with other knitters, been to a new choir, been to a new church small group, put an advert in a major science journal, cycled along 60mph roads (I wasn't going that fast, obviously).

I'm tired, but happy with how things are going. I'm not what you'd call settled, I still get lonely and am only just starting to make some friends. I hope as days turn into weeks turn into months, Cambridge will become home.

hallelujah

I went to a practice of the choir in the village for the first time last night. It was brilliant! I haven't sung in a decent choir in ages, not really since my chapel choir is Oxford. There have been choirs since then, but not very taxing ones. This feels like a proper choir that will stretch my singing. We're doing parts 2 and 3 of Handel's Messiah for a concert at the end of March. The first thing we sang last night was the Hallelujah chorus, which I've sung before, it's the bit everyone knows really and then the rehearsal zipped along through lots of unfamiliar sections. Loads of high fast semi-quavers to learn. Hooray! I'm hoping it'll literally strecth my range and I'll get my high notes back. I can't do really stratospheric, but I used to be able to get a high A fairly reliably, maybe a Bflat on a good day. Without practice, I've got rusty.

Cycling home last night, I realised how much I like living within cycling distance of so many things. I can cycle to work, into town, to choir practice, to the Co-op and a mini Tescos. Cycling to church is a little bit beyond me. Actually, I just looked it up and it's only 4.4 miles, so might be do-able soon, although some of those roads are pretty big and scary. Yay for villages and yay for Cambridge and its cycle lanes!

Read some Byron, Shelley and Keats

Actually just some Byron, but some lyrics stick in your head. No prizes for identifying it, just the glory.

Anyway.

I have been reading Byron, the 1st Canto of Don Juan to be precise and it's very, very funny. Although only the dedication and 1st Canto are set texts for my course, I think I might have to read the rest too. Byron's world-weary narrator is pretty cynical, though on the whole not cruel. The way it's written is brilliant. The tone is so fresh and conversational, yet the rhymes are obviously carefully chosen. This stanza from Canto 1 (a description of Juan's mother, Donna Inez) made me laugh out loud with its audacity.

XII
Her favourite science was the mathematical,
Her noblest virtue was her magnanimity,
Her wit (she sometimes tried at wit) was Attic all,
Her serious sayings darken'd to sublimity;
In short, in all things she was fairly what I call
A prodigy -- her morning dress was dimity,
Her evening silk, or, in the summer, muslin,
And other stuffs, with which I won't stay puzzling.

So, to all (Well maybe not quite all, it's also quite rude.) I say, go and read some Byron. It'll make you laugh.

Or alternatively, go and read Tristram Shandy. My course notes draw a comparison between the two since both constantly wander away from the narrative on digressions. I'm looking forward to Michael Winterbottom's film, A Cock and Bull Story which comes out this week. There was a review on Front Row last night and it sounds fun, if you can put up with Steve Coogan. The only worry I have is that it'll just be Coogan doing the same sort of unreliable narrator thing he did in 24 Party People (same director, lots of the same actors too). But to make a film from an unfilmable book is an achievement and worth a look if, like me, you love the book in question.

The Windhover

The first lines of this have been buzzing around in my head for a few days, so I had to look up the rest. It's an amazing poem, absolutely breath-taking.


The Windhover
To Christ our Lord

I caught this morning morning's minion, king-
dom of daylight's dauphin, dapple-dawn-drawn Falcon, in his riding
Of the rolling level underneath him steady air, and striding
High there, how he rung upon the rein of a wimpling wing
In his ecstasy! then off, off forth on swing,
As a skate's heel sweeps smooth on a bow-bend: the hurl and gliding
Rebuffed the big wind. My heart in hiding
Stirred for a bird, - the achieve of, the mastery of the thing!

Brute beauty and valour and act, oh, air, pride, plume, here
Buckle! AND the fire that breaks from thee then, a billion
Times told lovelier, more dangerous. O my chevalier!
No wonder of it: sheer plod makes plough down sillion
Shine, and blue-bleak embers, ah my dear,
Fall, gall themselves, and gash gold-vermilion.

Gerard Manley Hopkins

blue sky thinking

wall, sea, sky, originally uploaded by the pig wot flies.

I'm feeling tired.

Yesterday I came into work and then felt so awful I went home again. I slept for a while and then lay in bed and looked at the sky. When lying in bed, all I can see through the bedroom window is sky. The day had begun cloudy, but by the time I woke up for the second time, it was sunny and bright. I felt energised after my sleep and took my bike out for a while, to get myself used to the idea. The sun shone, the sky was blue.

Today I'm in work again and feeling tired and a little floaty. The sky is blue again, pale winter blue. Blue with possibility, bright with warmth in the sun.

Why is blue hope and despair? Blue is freshness, daylight. Blue is cold water. Blue is depression. Blue is cornflowers. Blue is frostbite. Blue is the sea. Blue is loneliness. Blue is bridal. Blue is sky.

I'm tired. I'm lonely, a little. I'm hopeful.

who are you?

Various people have been declaring this National De-Lurking week, so I shall join them. It's been very quiet here and I want to know who's reading this blog. Leave a comment, say hello and maybe if you ask me a question, I'll answer it.

church hunting

Cambridge, it seems, is blessed with many brilliant churches. The problem? How to decide where to go. My obvious choice is City Church. It's where my sister goes, it's a New Frontiers church, it's full of families and students and older people and single people, it's a lot like Jubilee in lots of ways, but obviously different, being in a different area and having its own building. I'd be happy to go there. I just don't want to feel I haven't give anywhere else a chance. I want to get involved in a church and start making new friends, but I want to make sure it's the right place.

I've been looking at church websites to get a few ideas of other places I could go. I wouldn't chose a church on the basis of their website alone, but it does give you a feel for their style and often there's a good statement of the vision of the church. Trouble is, I think I'm finding reasons not to go places, rather than looking for places to go. For instance, one church has cell groups that are only made up of one sort of person, eg women's cells, couples' cells. I'd rather be somewhere that has a mixture of people in cell groups. True, I have been leading a group that was mainly geared to the 18-30ish (very ish in some cases) age group, but even within that there were men and women, single people and couples, students and workers. Other places I didn't like the sound of their worship style, too old-fashioned or too slick.

But then, firstly as I've already said, a webpage is not a good basis for choosing a church. Secondly, I need to visit some places and see what they're like. Thirdly, I need to pray about it and ask God to guide me to the right church.

Anyone got any tips on church-hunting?

pig wot flies' moving day

On Saturday I moved into my new abode. It's lovely. I hadn't seen the room properly before I moved in since last time I saw it, it had no furniture and the walls and ceiling were dark blue. Now it's a beautiful shade of lavender and has furniture, including a big metal frame double bed. Luxury! I'm getting on well with my landlady (the word doesn't go with the person, but I suppose if I'm her lodger, she must be my landlady) and I don't think it'll be long before it feels like home. It just needs a radio in the kitchen so I can cook and listen to Radio 4!

There are still things I need to bring from home, not least my bike lights which seem to have disappeared. I'm planning to cycle to work, but without lights, that's not going to happen. I drove in this morning, which I never want to do again. I don't mind sitting in a traffic jam on a bus because I can do something else like knit or read, but sitting in a car in a traffic jam, even with the Today programme for company, is not my idea of fun. I'll try the bus tomorrow. Hopefully my lights will turn up next weekend. I'm planning to do another raid home on Saturday to pick up a few last bits and tidy up the mess I left behind me.

Saturday was also my one year blogoversary. Yes, I've been at this blogging lark for a year now. I started rather slowly. January 2005 doesn't have many posts, but I like to think I've improved since then, in frequency and I hope in quality.

I've been trying to work out how to blog about work. I've come to the conclusion I don't want to mention where I work by name, but I am excited about it. People who know me in real life know where I work, obviously. I think I'll have to see how it goes. I certainly won't be naming my place of work, or naming people who work there, but I suspect there might be things that happen here that I want to blog about. We'll see. So far, it's good. The people I work with are friendly, the job is exciting, if a little daunting at times and I'm settling in gradually.

another newbie

I've just discovered Adrian's been spawning blog-children again. Dave Routledge has a blog. It's small so far, but I expect it will grow and hopefully he'll post some more of his brilliant photos too.

There are now several bloggers from Jubilee church. How exciting! But so far the boys are outnumbering the girls, as they seem to in the wider blogosphere. Why is that? Come on girls, you've got things to say too!

day one

Bother. Wrote a long post and then lost it because I couldn't spell temporarily. You can take that sentence either way.

My more observant readers will be noticed that my location is now Cambridge. I started my new job today, it's great. Lovely people. Office is gradually getting unpacked and set up. No email or internet yet. Maybe tomorrow.

Over the weekend I went to Wales to see la famille Perkins, Nathan, Nayf and Sian. HP came too and a good time was had by all except Turk, who broke down on the way there and the way home. He's currently in a garage being fixed. I hope he'll be well again soon so I can bring him to Cambridge.

I'm temporarily (is that spelt right? I really can't tell.) living with Debs and moving into my new abode on Saturday. I think it might a few weeks to move completely since there's lots to move.

I am very tired, so I'm going to have a bath and go to bed very soon. A belated Happy New Year!

end of a year

2005 is nearly over. I'm about to be summoned for tea I think, so there isn't time for a proper round up, but I felt something was needed.

I started this year with no job. I end the year having just left one job and about to start another which I'm excited about.

I started the year with a red bug, I end the year with a turquoise one.

I started the year as a Londoner, I end the year soon to be a Cantabrian (by residence only, I'm still an Oxonian (and a Londoner) at heart.)

I started the year single, I end the year still single.

I started the year in a wonderful church that met in a school, I end the year in a growing and still wonderful church that meets in a cinema.

I started the year having not knit for years. I end the year a very keen and possibly obsessed kntter.

I started the year with one camera, I end the year with three (if you count the phone.)

I started the year trusting God for the next step. I end the year thankful for what He's done this year and trusting Him again to take me into the next exciting installment.

new monster

My sister has a blog! I can't really claim her as my blogchild since she decided to start one all on her own, but I can be the first to send people her way. Go and say hello to Debs. It's her life.

pig in a flap

Not much blogging from me at the moment I'm afraid. I'm back home after Christmas, which was good if a little quiet. I start my new job on Tuesday, I'm spending Sunday and Monday in Wales, so obviously at the moment I'm making cushion covers. Hmm, should probably do a little packing too. Next week, I'm living on Debbie's floor for a few days and then moving into my new home on 7th January. Life might be a little hectic for a while.

An interesting snippet from our local paper - a village in Pakistan is to be named Walthamstow in gratitude for the help given to that community by this one after the earthquake. I think that's quite cool.

Happy Christmas!

manger, originally uploaded by the pig wot flies.

This photo was taken last year after my church's carols and nativity service. The baby in the manger has grown up a bit since then and has more hair, although he often still looks as worried.

I'm off for a few days to the land of pork pies and blue cheese. (I don't like either, but I know some people who do.)

Have a wonderful Christmas.

sorted!

I've got somewhere to live in Cambridge.
I've been stressed about it all week. In the end, I decided to turn down beautiful-old-house and go for house-3-miles-out-of-town-but-only-for-6-months. I rang up Z who lives there (I'm sure she's going to feature in the blog in the next few months, so she might as well have an initial now) wondering whether the room would still be available and discovered not only that it is, but that she's now decorated the second spare room which is about twice the size of the one I originally looked out. (It's lavender, very me!) So all is well and all has worked out. God's good!
I won't be able to move in until 7th January, but given that I'm away over the New Year weekend, that makes life a bit less hectic.

It's such a relief to get a place to live sorted. Perhaps I'll be able to stop biting people's heads off now and enjoy Christmas.

how to make fudge

Lots of people liked the fudge I made for cell on Tuesday, so here's the recipe:

1 lb demerara sugar
8 oz golden granulated sugar
1 tin evaporated milk
3oz butter

Put all the ingredients in a heavy saucepan. (I use an old pressure cooker.)
Heat on a low to medium heat until the sugar is dissolved and the butter is melted.
Turn the heat down slightly. Boil the mixture for 10-12 minutes to the softball stage (when a small amount of mixture dropped into cold water will stick together to form a ball.) STIR CONSTANTLY!
Take the pan off the heat, add 1/2 teaspoon of vanilla essence and beat until it thickens slightly. The mixture begins to feel fudgy and makes sticky noises. Sort of. This is one of the bits you have to practise.
Pour the fudge into a greased and lined tin and leave to cool.
Once cool, cut into pieces and eat.

For chocolate fudge, add 3 tablespoons of cocoa at the beginning.
The basic recipe is easy, but you might need to practise a few times to get it right.

house of cards

It seems finding somewhere to live is even less sorted than I thought. I turned down big-house-full-of-young-people and house-with-cat because I thought beautiful-old-house was the one. Then I went to Cambridge to meet the potential house-mate I hadn't met and discovered that there are are two other people interested in the house and they're going to talk to all of us and then decide who they want to live with. Which is fair enough, but I wish I'd known that before hand. I still love the house, but having met both inhabitants, I'm worried that they're much more goey-outy (not a word, but anyway) than me. They've said they'll tell me by the end of the week. I'm a little thrown really. I'm not sure they'll like me and I'm not sure whether we'd get on. So that leaves me with house-3-miles-out-of-town-but-only-for-6-months. Which is warm and cosy and I like the girl I'd be sharing with, but I did want somewhere closer to town and longer term.

I don't really know what to do now. Hang on and see what happens, keep trying anything I can and pray. I start my new job two weeks tomorrow and so far I've got nowhere definite to move to. I'm trying not to be depressed about it. I've been here before. When I moved to Bath, the house I ended up living in got sorted very quickly. I had about 10 days to sort it out before I went on holiday. In a matter of days I went from having no-one to live with and nowhere to live to having three housemates and a gorgeous house. I'm trying to hang onto that and trust God.

another Christmas, another last day

This bunch of flowers was a present when I left my previous job just before Christmas last year. It's nearly Christmas and once again, I'm leaving my job. This time last year, I didn't know what I was going to do next. I'd applied for my current job but the deadline was ages away and it was a couple of months before they interviewed me. This time, I know where I'm going next and it's exciting.

I've known I'm going to leave this job at the end of the year for the majority of the time I'd been here. I started just after Easter, I was offered my new job at the end of July. That's 4 months not planning to leave and then 5 months knowing I'm leaving. Knowing I was leaving soon made doing this job bearable. It's not all been terrible, but my heart's never really been in it. I'm more excited about where I'm going next. It's a new thing for everyone involved. I'm moving to a new town, new church, to meet new people, learn new things, moving on to the next stage in my life.

As far as I know, this time next year I won't be about to leave my job. And that will be a very good thing.

another gorgeous London sunset

another London sunset 2, originally uploaded by the pig wot flies.

About 4pm, the sky outside my East-facing office window started turning pink. I kept watching and waiting and going to the other side of the building to see whether this sunset was going to be a good one, and it was. The moon is beautiful tonight too, high and full and misty with cloud cover, but I couldn't get it to photograph well.

still here

This is my penultimate day at work. I'm running out of things to do. There's no point starting anything new because I won't be here to finish it. I'm trying to tidy things up and make sure everything's in order for my successor, but there's only so many times you can reorder your files, tidy the desk and put things in files. Not long to go now, all over soon and then it's Christmas, hooray!

houses

Dave requested a post on the latest with my move to Cambridge, so here it is. I've not been blogging about it much because it feels a work in progress and I'm not good at sharing unfinished things with the world, but here's where I am at the moment.

On Saturday I went to Cambridge to look at a couple more places I could live. The first house I looked at, I fell in love with. It's a mid terrace Victorian house, beautifully decorated, lots of light paint and wood, stripped wood doors, odd cupboards and nooks and crannies. It's not far from the centre of town, there's a small garden, a passage way through to the garden in which I could keep my bike. The room I'd have is unfurnished so I'd get to buy my own furniture. It's got big wooden framed sash windows. It's all very me. The two girls living there have only just moved in. I've spoken to one on the phone and met the other. We got on fine.

The other house was good in lots of different ways. It's further out of town, has a huge garden with a back gate and is full of lovely people who I got on with really well. My main reservation is that I feel too old for it. Most of the people in the house have only just graduated. I'd be the oldest. If I were a few years younger, I'd probably go for it, but I just feel a bit too grown-up. It's is if the two houses are two possibilities for people to be. Centre of town sophisicate or edge of town only-just-not-a-student. That's a little more extreme than it actually is. I think if I hadn't already seen and loved the first house, I'd be happy to live in the second.

So, I came home on Saturday feeling sure I'd found my new home. All I needed to do to be sure was to meet the girl I'd only spoken to. I envisaged doing that one evening this week and then sorting things out quickly so I could move in before Christmas. Unfortunately she's very busy all this week and we can't meet until next week. That's pretty close to Christmas, so there isn't going to be time to sort contracts etc in time for me to move before Christmas. Perhaps that means I won't move in until after I've started my job and I'll have to sleep on my sister's floor for a few days. But then I haven't met her yet and we may not get on (I think this is unlikely, but you never know.) So now I'm feeling a bit thrown. I've rung and turned down one place I looked at, but there are still two others I haven't rung (including the second hosue from Saturday) I don't really want to keep them hanging on, but I don't want to turn everything down just in case this one doesn't work out. Basically I wanted it all to get sorted and it isn't (yet) and I don't deal well with uncertainty, it tends to make me assume the worst (hmm, perhaps Puddleglum is right after all). So there. That's what's happening.

And I've got three days left with nothing much to do at work except fidget and worry, so that's not helping either.

music eddie?

At the end of Athlete's song You got the style, there's a voice that says "music Eddie!" a few times with a screechy intonation. It's been bugging me ever since I bought the album Vehicles and Animals last year. (It's rather good, Tourist is OK too, but the first one's more interesting.) I'm sure I remember guys at my church youth group saying it to each other. This would be in the early to mid 1990s. As boys do, they were always chucking around dialogue and catchphrases from comedy programmes, Harry Enfield, Mary Whitehouse Experience, that kind of thing. These were inevitably lost on me since I didn't usually watch the programmes in question, but I usually got the joke. One of the guys was called Edmund, so "music Eddie!" would have got a lot of use. I just want to know whether I'm completely making this up and what the origins of "music Eddie!" are. I haven't been able to discover so far. Anyone out there know?

really?

I'm a bit of a sucker for personality tests. But I don't usually post the results. However, the result of the Narnia test (found via Catez) made me laugh.



"As Puddleglum the marshwiggle, you are very much pessimistic and paranoid! However, you're respected and trusted, and have a heart of gold."

I'm not sure what to make of that. I suspect it might be true, a bit.

sparkle sparkle

sparklers 3, originally uploaded by the pig wot flies.

I've finally scanned and uploaded my photos from the fireworks party. I wasn't very impressed with most of the fireworks ones, but I think the sparklers are quite effective. Also up are assorted photos from Chester, Exeter and my cousin's baptism.

pause

Radio 4 is on the blink. There was a long silence after the end of Four Corners, so long that you begin to wonder if something terrible has happened. What could possibly take the BBC off the air? Then the continuity announcer's soothing tones announce a technical fault and introduce some Mozart. A string quartet starts up, beautiful, delicate, precise. You wonder how long it will last. Like a break in the weather, a sunny spell in the middle of winter, a sleeping baby. The music swells and dies away. Every quiet passage makes you hold your breath and wonder if PM is suddenly going to break through the impromptu concert.

The music fades out and the announcer is back. Is order about to be restored? No, the fault is still ongoing. An orchestral piece starts. Will the ensembles get bigger as time passes? If this goes on, will you end up listening to Mahler's symphony of a thousand, or the music of a giant gamelan comprising every musician on earth?

The orchestra plays on, soporificly. You are being lulled into sleepiness, you don't need the news, never mind what's happening in the world, here is calm and peaceful.

Suddenly, the music ends abruptly. We're rejoining PM, the quotidian order is restored.

grrrrrrrr

I have a cold. Urgh. This afternoon watching The Never Ending Story, I decided my voice sounded like the rockbiter. All deep and gravelly.

Good film. I like it. My sister says it was always the film we'd watch at school at the end of term, but inevitably there wouldn't be time to watch it all, so it really was a never-ending story. I read the book a year or two ago and discovered that the film ends about halfway through the book. Apparently there are two sequels. I've never seen either.

The scene where Atreyu's horse sinks into the swamp gets me every time. It was always the most memorable scene when I hadn't seen the film for years, probably because it's a horse dying (I was a horse-mad child), but also because the acting is so good. The child actors playing Bastian and Atreyu are both brilliant, totally believable in their distress and anguish. Atreyu in particular spends a lot of time crawling in the mud, climbing things and getting sneezed on by a giant tortoise. It can't have been much fun to film.

The other memorable thing is Falkor, the luck dragon. Mostly because he's large and pink and slightly fluffy and yet manages to look dragonly and not like something dreamed up for a Disney princess. Doesn't everyone want a dragon?

Not very coherent, obviously still ill. Bed.

advertising space

There's 12 hour webcast from CERN, called Beyond Einstein tomorrow from 11am GMT. It's all about Einstein, his legacy and the future of physics. The slot hosted from London (which I've been involved in organising, a little bit) starts around 4.30 GMT.

a pig in search of a roof

This weekend I went to Cambridge to see a couple of places I could live. Both are possible, both are lived in by lovely people, both have advantages and disadvantages. I'm going to see a couple more places in a fortnight's time, so I'm trying not to make a decision on where to live until I've seen all the options.
It's a tricky thing, deciding where to live, especially when you've never met the people you're going to live with before. You might get on brilliantly, you might annoy each other totally, you might just live parallel lives in the same house. All of these things have happened to me in the past. It's good to have a few options though. I think I could live happily in either of the places I've seen so far. All the places I'm looking at contain at least one other Christian girl, which is the main thing I wanted. God's good.

running away

Last night, it all just got too much. The stress of flat-hunting, the fact that I've got to write an essay by Tuesday and I've barely started, the fact that I'm leaving people, place, circumstances I know to start something new in a little over six weeks time.

So I'm very glad that today I'm taking the afternoon off to run away to Exeter for the weekend, to see HP (briefly), HP (confusing I know) and NL. Paddington here I come.

sunset

London sunset, originally uploaded by the pig wot flies.

Monday may not have started well, but it finished beautifully.

London sunset III, originally uploaded by the pig wot flies.

ba bah ba ba ba bah

Reasons why today is a bad day

It's Monday.
It's cold.
My office is cold and smells of cabbage.
I've just exploded a blackcurrant teabag while trying to detach it from its sister teabag.

Reasons why today is a good day

It's one of those beautiful crisp and frosty mornings in autumn that I love.
I have pink fluffy gloves to keep my hands warm on the bike.
I've now got a steaming cup of blackcurrant tea (and I've cleared up the mess).
Psalm 118 v24: This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.

UPDATE: I've found a heater. Much better!

future bus

I've just seen my first fuel cell powered bus. They're currently being tried out in nine cities across Europe. How exciting is that? Of course, there's still the problem of how you make the hydrogen and distribute it. According to Transport for London's handy (and not at all over simplified ;-) ) diagram of how hydrogen is made you need electricity to electrolyse water to make hydrogen and large tankers to transport the hydrogen around, so it's not a totally zero-emissions process. Still, a step in the right direction.

More information about London's fuel cell buses.

flat-hunting

I don't think I like flat-hunting websites. It's all a bit scary and intimidating. You find yourself endlessly analysing 10 word descriptions of people trying to work out what they're really like. I more or less know what I want, it's just working out how to find it. What I really want is to live with other Christian girls about my own age. I'm not convinced I'm currently going about this the right way. Has anyone any advice?